The Tiniest Angel

“When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight”. ~Kahlil Gibran

Our delight was unimaginable, and therefore our sorrow now. The pain is an empty one- a galaxy of joy had stretched our hearts, then in an instant all its stars burned out in a sudden breath from some force beyond our understanding. In brief flashes we're strong enough to realize the gift of this empty space, the world of love that fits inside. Instants after the space is only that- a lifetime of possibilities that we had dreamed to share, now only a dream itself. Searching for meaning is a desert wander, space and time suspended in a seemingly directionless eternity.

These are the first few steps of this journey without our dear Melkamu. Of course, he will always be with us, his image and perfect innocence now an inherent part of our being as a family. We've been reminded that we chose to adopt from Ethiopia because of its fragility and need, and that Melkamu was the tiniest angel there. What he leaves behind is the seed which will give us the strength to continue on this journey, where soon enough we will be celebrating Melkamu's life with his brother or sister.

“Oh heart, if one should say to you that the soul perishes like the body, answer that the flower withers, but the seed remains”. ~Kahlil Gibran

The hole in our heart hurts, but it is truly a blessing to feel it quickly becoming lined with the love and support of our family and friends. You've given us peace, comfort, soothing. Above all, the understanding that in this time we do not need to be strong, put on a good face. We can fall apart. We can and are, because we have you to help us. It eases our minds to be told that he did sense all the love and excitement from across the world, that Mother Earth must have had something else in store for him. We've been comforted by the sentiment that the plan must have simply been for him to be here for only a short time, and that he needed all the abundant love we were able to offer during that time. It's warming to know you understand he wasn't merely a picture to us, and we know we are sharing this loss with you all. He indeed was a son, a grandson, a nephew, a cousin, and so much more to all of us.

Little Melkamu, we hope you know how much you were loved, and we hope you know we will never forget you. You touched our hearts from 10,000 miles away. You will always be our tiniest angel.